There`s so many nights that i want to say this out, probably today is.
Almost 2 months had passed and i`m here. Yep still here. People should have known so yeah i should just say it out. Everything ended. I don`t know how i got about it but it ended. Just like that. We quarrelled just about a mistake and what shocked me was.. you didn`t even gave me another chance even tho you said you did. You left. And the next thing was there were so many girls you were talking to. This and that. And the last time you texted me was before you left for holidays with your friends.
I know, i know it`s my fault. I`ve repeated so many times it was my fault. I was dumb, i was stupid. Yep you can say whatever you like, like i didn`t think about anything or anybody or what the hell i was doing at that point of time. Im insecure. I am and every girl is. Perhaps that time was too much and yes i was overboard. I struggle everyday thinking what would i do if i lost you. I cried, so hard thinking it was unfair for you who have done so many things for me. What had i done even after you tried so hard assuring me that i am the one.
The next thing i knew, school started and you didn`t even talk to me. We didn`t talk. At all. And when i asked you told me there was nothing wrong with you, it was just me and my vibes. I don`t know what made you feel that way bcoz you know that it`s not normal. You keep saying everything is but imagine in one table, you talked to everyone except for one person? In one table, you share whatever you have except for one person? In one table you look at everybody except for one person?
What broke my heart was when you told Leeya that you didn`t had any feelings or thoughts to be with me. You told her that you treated me as your bestfriend. You told her that all these things we shared were just normal to you. You told her that you didn`t care anymore. You told her you deleted all our messages. You told her that you didn`t like insecurity girls like me. You told her that i always liked to bring up the past about your ex dates. You told her that the way i asked questions at times doesn`t give him the basic respect and trust. You told her that i shouldn`t expect anything from him. And you told her that you didn`t like people who doesn`t like to be straightforward.
What broke my heart. What broke my heart. What broke my heart literally was when you the one who told me that you wanted us to work out and you had a commitment to it. And after what happened you just left me just like that so where did all the commitment go? Where did everything go? You can`t just leave a person after saying and doing so much. You don't leave just.like.that.
If you didn`t have any feelings or whatever then why did you bother doing so much for me. If you said you only treated me like a bestfriend then what are those hugs and kisses and sweet promises for. I don`t know what is normal for you, but all these aren`t normal for me. I bring up the past not bcoz i love talking about how things are before, but that`s what we always do,share things and if i could listen wholeheartedly to you and your talks every single day and how you talk about your exdates, why couldnt you just let me say something. You talk about respect and trust yet you didn`t even trust me and give me that one more chance. You talk about me not being straightforward but have you. You didn`t even tell me you didn`t want this anymore and you even agreed on being like how we used to. When i rant at twitter you went so angry and say all those nasty words about me bitching online. Why can't i say those words when they are true and why can`t you being straightforward and just tell me everything. Why can`t you do the same when you told me to.
What shocked me was you moved on so fine.. you took things like it never happened and you see on other girls. No i`m not angry that you are checking out on girls but it just amazed me. How can you just do all these.. how can you really do all these while i`m still here thinking so much and slowly picking up the pieces to move on.
I tried so hard. I tried so hard.. so hard Sharul Asyraf. :'( To be honest i didn`t expect us to happen but surprisingly it did. And i didn`t expect us to end just like this. I thought you are the one. Honestly you are the one bcoz you changed me, you made me feel that there are still guys like you willing to be with someone like me. You made me believe so much in you and you kept things going so perfectly. You are so special to me.. so special to me that i can`t help to try to convince myself what we are today. I just couldn`t get it till today why can`t we solve this just like how we usually did. I don`t get it why there are so much anger in you that you put in me when i was the one trying so hard to find the right words just to make you feel better. I don`t know why or how did you went so patient towards girls whom you known previously who treated you so bad and yet you have every step to reply them so nicely, why can`t you just do the same for me..why.
I fall for you, perhaps too hard. The one who changed everyone`s mindset. My friends and family. The one who took every mile just to fetch me and send me home. The one who never fails to call me every night and rants all his stories to me. The one who introduced almost everyone to me. The one who shows how much he loves his baby brothers. The one who have such amazing family and all of the lovely and caring friends he`s got. The one who is charming and gets alot of the girls attention in school. The one who being an emcee for the day just for me. The one who said how much he loved this smile of mine and would rather be here with me. The one who said he didn`t wanna lose me. But the one who healed my heart.. broke it. Every inch of it. I thought i`ve found the perfect guy, but i guess the 'perfect' guy whom i thought he is has not found his yet.
I`ve planned so many things in my mind if things were to happen between us one day. That one fine day called 'official'. But sadly it it didn't, did it.
I didn`t gave up, i let go. And that`s how i try everyday.
Insyaallah.
There`s so many nights that i want to say this out, probably today is.
Almost 2 months had passed and i`m here. Yep still here. People should have known so yeah i should just say it out. Everything ended. I don`t know how i got about it but it ended. Just like that. We quarrelled just about a mistake and what shocked me was.. you didn`t even gave me another chance even tho you said you did. You left. And the next thing was there were so many girls you were talking to. This and that. And the last time you texted me was before you left for holidays with your friends.
I know, i know it`s my fault. I`ve repeated so many times it was my fault. I was dumb, i was stupid. Yep you can say whatever you like, like i didn`t think about anything or anybody or what the hell i was doing at that point of time. Im insecure. I am and every girl is. Perhaps that time was too much and yes i was overboard. I struggle everyday thinking what would i do if i lost you. I cried, so hard thinking it was unfair for you who have done so many things for me. What had i done even after you tried so hard assuring me that i am the one.
The next thing i knew, school started and you didn`t even talk to me. We didn`t talk. At all. And when i asked you told me there was nothing wrong with you, it was just me and my vibes. I don`t know what made you feel that way bcoz you know that it`s not normal. You keep saying everything is but imagine in one table, you talked to everyone except for one person? In one table, you share whatever you have except for one person? In one table you look at everybody except for one person?
What broke my heart was when you told Leeya that you didn`t had any feelings or thoughts to be with me. You told her that you treated me as your bestfriend. You told her that all these things we shared were just normal to you. You told her that you didn`t care anymore. You told her you deleted all our messages. You told her that you didn`t like insecurity girls like me. You told her that i always liked to bring up the past about your ex dates. You told her that the way i asked questions at times doesn`t give him the basic respect and trust. You told her that i shouldn`t expect anything from him. And you told her that you didn`t like people who doesn`t like to be straightforward.
What broke my heart. What broke my heart. What broke my heart literally was when you the one who told me that you wanted us to work out and you had a commitment to it. And after what happened you just left me just like that so where did all the commitment go? Where did everything go? You can`t just leave a person after saying and doing so much. You don't leave just.like.that.
If you didn`t have any feelings or whatever then why did you bother doing so much for me. If you said you only treated me like a bestfriend then what are those hugs and kisses and sweet promises for. I don`t know what is normal for you, but all these aren`t normal for me. I bring up the past not bcoz i love talking about how things are before, but that`s what we always do,share things and if i could listen wholeheartedly to you and your talks every single day and how you talk about your exdates, why couldnt you just let me say something. You talk about respect and trust yet you didn`t even trust me and give me that one more chance. You talk about me not being straightforward but have you. You didn`t even tell me you didn`t want this anymore and you even agreed on being like how we used to. When i rant at twitter you went so angry and say all those nasty words about me bitching online. Why can't i say those words when they are true and why can`t you being straightforward and just tell me everything. Why can`t you do the same when you told me to.
What shocked me was you moved on so fine.. you took things like it never happened and you see on other girls. No i`m not angry that you are checking out on girls but it just amazed me. How can you just do all these.. how can you really do all these while i`m still here thinking so much and slowly picking up the pieces to move on.
I tried so hard. I tried so hard.. so hard Sharul Asyraf. :'( To be honest i didn`t expect us to happen but surprisingly it did. And i didn`t expect us to end just like this. I thought you are the one. Honestly you are the one bcoz you changed me, you made me feel that there are still guys like you willing to be with someone like me. You made me believe so much in you and you kept things going so perfectly. You are so special to me.. so special to me that i can`t help to try to convince myself what we are today. I just couldn`t get it till today why can`t we solve this just like how we usually did. I don`t get it why there are so much anger in you that you put in me when i was the one trying so hard to find the right words just to make you feel better. I don`t know why or how did you went so patient towards girls whom you known previously who treated you so bad and yet you have every step to reply them so nicely, why can`t you just do the same for me..why.
I fall for you, perhaps too hard. The one who changed everyone`s mindset. My friends and family. The one who took every mile just to fetch me and send me home. The one who never fails to call me every night and rants all his stories to me. The one who introduced almost everyone to me. The one who shows how much he loves his baby brothers. The one who have such amazing family and all of the lovely and caring friends he`s got. The one who is charming and gets alot of the girls attention in school. The one who being an emcee for the day just for me. The one who said how much he loved this smile of mine and would rather be here with me. The one who said he didn`t wanna lose me. But the one who healed my heart.. broke it. Every inch of it. I thought i`ve found the perfect guy, but i guess the 'perfect' guy whom i thought he is has not found his yet.
I`ve planned so many things in my mind if things were to happen between us one day. That one fine day called 'official'. But sadly it it didn't, did it.
I didn`t gave up, i let go. And that`s how i try everyday.
Insyaallah.
This is your about me section or watever u wanna put in here. Make it long and beautiful, it'll look like tumblr. kekeke.
You know, I really hate my school. The teacher keep shitting on me. I hate it when they give me homeworks. Especially mathematic.
I hate that subject the most plus, the teacher is so fucking shitty. When my parents take my report card, the teacher keep reporting
shits about me. Can't she just shut the fuck up and get lost from my fucking world ? Because she's making it worst. Not only her, but my
PJ or watever u call it teacher is shitty too. He's worst, he acts like he's the motherfucking rich guy in the school and mr.know-anything.
Fuck him. Today he wants me to run four rounds while I'm having this vagina-ache and kidney-ache thingy. He never understands why the fuck does we hate him.
Almost the whole school hate him y'know ! At the first day he came, he gave some speech. And a guy shout " Just go home, we don't need you here. You sucks ! "
He is sucks. Sucks to the mother fucking core.
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