So hello everybody, life has been very very good these days. Can`t be more thankful than whatever or whoever that has happened to me. Especially with this guy around. :)

Somethings always have to happen. And as for me, i was dumb and i asked a stupid bloody question. A stupid question that made me thinked alot these past few days. I knew i was not supposed to ask that question. The case was closed long time ago but i just had to. Itchy fingers needs to do this. And it really hurt this Mr above there. And we had a kinda-misunderstanding-argument. He was disappointed, i was disappointed too. He was disappointed bcoz he tot i didn`t trust him. I was disappointed bcoz i just cannot stop myself from being so dumb.

It goes like that, i cried for days and days realizing it was all stupid. I knew i should`t have done that. My insecurities level was too high i couldn`t control myself. Why did i even asked that question when all these while.. he has been giving me so much respect,care,concern,attention and last but not least love. Why did i even asked that question when i was on his mind for almost 24/7, at work, at the garage, while even with his friends, while cycling, while playing his psp, FIFA12 with his friends, while at the makan place, at the fishing place, and a whole load more. Why, Nisah, why?

I could feel the disappointment till now. I know he`s trying to hide it but i can still feel it. I asked for another chance and yes.. i got them.

"Just don`t disappoint me ok. Time,money,effort doesn`t matter, just don`t disappoint me."

Haiz. I am sorry Sharul, i am the biggest disappointment to you now. I know we are still working this out. I don`t know why at some point of time i feel that you don`t really want to talk just yet.. :( But slowly and surely, it will all get back into place. I am not going to lie too that i`ve always wanted this to work out. Always. Hearing you saying that to me the first time gets me going,gets me believing that there is an opportunity for us. I am not perfect, i am not the best, not the prettiest, not the perfect one but i can promise you that these things won`t happen again and that i`ll be there for you always. Please don`t let go. :,(

I`ve always wanted to be that responsible,caring,honest,understanding girlfriend that a guy wants. And there is no doubt that i`ve been trying to get there all these while while i am with you. Maybe not to the right expectation yet, but still trying and trying. My relationship with my previous one ended bcoz i was too dumb to even be in his life,i tried to be the best but i wasn`t in his eyes bcoz he went to find it in others. But now i`ve been given the best, aren`t i Sharul? And that`s you. Why would i want to find someone else now? Please let me try again.. again and once more.

If you are talking about lust then i have to disagree on that, bcoz lust doesn`t have all the things you have been giving me - lots and lots of care,concern,attention,a listening ear,understanding and loads of understandings, quarreling, encouragement, your trust to me and last but not least - your love. And it`s not bcoz of lust, bcoz lust don`t have all the things that i have been trying too - knowing your friends, your closefriends, your bestfriends, your family, your life, your love life towards soccer and what more importantly yourself - The always- angry-guy-where-almost-everybody-is-scared-to-ask-questions. Bcoz i have always loved that same Sharul just the way he is from the very start. From that very start. That smile, that comfort, that joy and that laughter i`ve always heard from him. And nothing can change that. Nothing.

Now before i start crying.. i guess i should stop now. Last thing, i miss you. Everyday, every second, every step i take. All the things we`ve done and went thru together have always been the happiest thing to me. And is still & will still be. And let me promise you this - if you are staying i will always keep trying. For now, let`s take a deeeeeeeeeep breathe and smile, pray and pray that things will get better. Things like this always gets better in time, right?

Insyaallah Allah.. insyaallah.

So hello everybody, life has been very very good these days. Can`t be more thankful than whatever or whoever that has happened to me. Especially with this guy around. :)

Somethings always have to happen. And as for me, i was dumb and i asked a stupid bloody question. A stupid question that made me thinked alot these past few days. I knew i was not supposed to ask that question. The case was closed long time ago but i just had to. Itchy fingers needs to do this. And it really hurt this Mr above there. And we had a kinda-misunderstanding-argument. He was disappointed, i was disappointed too. He was disappointed bcoz he tot i didn`t trust him. I was disappointed bcoz i just cannot stop myself from being so dumb.

It goes like that, i cried for days and days realizing it was all stupid. I knew i should`t have done that. My insecurities level was too high i couldn`t control myself. Why did i even asked that question when all these while.. he has been giving me so much respect,care,concern,attention and last but not least love. Why did i even asked that question when i was on his mind for almost 24/7, at work, at the garage, while even with his friends, while cycling, while playing his psp, FIFA12 with his friends, while at the makan place, at the fishing place, and a whole load more. Why, Nisah, why?

I could feel the disappointment till now. I know he`s trying to hide it but i can still feel it. I asked for another chance and yes.. i got them.

"Just don`t disappoint me ok. Time,money,effort doesn`t matter, just don`t disappoint me."

Haiz. I am sorry Sharul, i am the biggest disappointment to you now. I know we are still working this out. I don`t know why at some point of time i feel that you don`t really want to talk just yet.. :( But slowly and surely, it will all get back into place. I am not going to lie too that i`ve always wanted this to work out. Always. Hearing you saying that to me the first time gets me going,gets me believing that there is an opportunity for us. I am not perfect, i am not the best, not the prettiest, not the perfect one but i can promise you that these things won`t happen again and that i`ll be there for you always. Please don`t let go. :,(

I`ve always wanted to be that responsible,caring,honest,understanding girlfriend that a guy wants. And there is no doubt that i`ve been trying to get there all these while while i am with you. Maybe not to the right expectation yet, but still trying and trying. My relationship with my previous one ended bcoz i was too dumb to even be in his life,i tried to be the best but i wasn`t in his eyes bcoz he went to find it in others. But now i`ve been given the best, aren`t i Sharul? And that`s you. Why would i want to find someone else now? Please let me try again.. again and once more.

If you are talking about lust then i have to disagree on that, bcoz lust doesn`t have all the things you have been giving me - lots and lots of care,concern,attention,a listening ear,understanding and loads of understandings, quarreling, encouragement, your trust to me and last but not least - your love. And it`s not bcoz of lust, bcoz lust don`t have all the things that i have been trying too - knowing your friends, your closefriends, your bestfriends, your family, your life, your love life towards soccer and what more importantly yourself - The always- angry-guy-where-almost-everybody-is-scared-to-ask-questions. Bcoz i have always loved that same Sharul just the way he is from the very start. From that very start. That smile, that comfort, that joy and that laughter i`ve always heard from him. And nothing can change that. Nothing.

Now before i start crying.. i guess i should stop now. Last thing, i miss you. Everyday, every second, every step i take. All the things we`ve done and went thru together have always been the happiest thing to me. And is still & will still be. And let me promise you this - if you are staying i will always keep trying. For now, let`s take a deeeeeeeeeep breathe and smile, pray and pray that things will get better. Things like this always gets better in time, right?

Insyaallah Allah.. insyaallah.